Gunthar and the Ladies

At Pennsic 37 (2008), I was camped right next to the Ansteorra royal encampment. As such, I also happened to be camped right next to the Prince and Princess of Ansteorra, and I saw Their Highnesses on a regular basis. Also in our camp was the Princess of the East Kingdom. Once night, I and all the assembled royal heirs were sitting around doing nothing in particular, and I offered my services as a bard to Their Highnesses Ansteorra. I offered to put into song or poem any events that happened at Pennsic that they thought would be worthy of commemorating. 

His Highness Anstoerra, Gunthar, immediately said, “Write a song about my virility!” I, ever cautious, asked, “Are you sure, Your Highness?” Gunthar shook his head, saying that he was only joking, but Princess Elizabeth of Ansteorra and Princess Alethea of the East both nodded and giggled. Well, far be it from me to disappoint royalty, so I wrote this piece.

Gunthar and the Ladies
by Katherine Ashewode, “The Pocket Bard”
Pennsic 37 (2008)
to the tune of “Small Miracles,” by The Whiskey Bards

There once was a man named Gunthar-O,
A cook of faméd skill.
He always served the ladies-O,
Their appetites to fill.
When Gunthar was serving they ran to their seats,
Their palates would water while waiting for treats,
And everyone hastened to sample his meats,
And none were disappointed,
No, his sausages were firm.

Upon the lists in battle-O,
Gunthar was the best.
His sword was always finely aimed
And faster than the rest.
The ladies would twitter when they saw him fight
For none could mistake his incredible might.
To watch him in battle was always a sight.
They fell to swooning afterwards
And begged to touch his sword.

At market or at tournament
He never was alone.
The ladies all would follow him,
His chivalry to hone.
For all of them knew he could fill every need,
In power, in pleasure, in sureness, in speed.
But Gunthar would none of their soft voices heed,
For none could match Elizabeth,
The lady of his heart.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: