John Forgot his Trousers

I’d intended for this to be a more sorrowful piece about people forgetting to bring things to the War, items that they’d spent months working on and then accidentally left on the kitchen counter. It happened to quite a number of people I knew at Pennsic XLV. Instead I was looking through my bard book and filk happened. Oops.

John Forgot his Trousers
By Katherine Ashewode
To the tune of “Donald Where’s Your Trousers”
August 2016

Packed my car for the Pennsic War
Filled it up like I’d done before
Froze in place as I locked the door
John forgot his trousers!

Well I’ve searched here and I’ve searched there
I’ve searched damn near everywhere
I’ve gotta curse and pull my hair
John forgot his trousers!

Drove my car for a hundred miles
All my gear in their neat little piles
But a thought occurs that destroys my smiles
John forgot his trousers!


Halfway there and I start to sweat
Did I close my oven, did I feed my pet?
And there’s nothin’ I can do but to stew in regret
John forgot his trousers!


With a tear and a sign I pull into gate
Hope against hope that I packed that crate
But it’s sittin’ back at home and I’m quite irate
John forgot his trousers!


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