Liam St. Liam’s Crown Polishing Quest

There’s a long story leading up to this one, but the short version is that Baron Liam. St. Liam, OP, decided to trade the Eastern King for the Smokin’ Hot Redhead Queen of Ansteorra. Because of this and the fallout thereof, King Kenric of the East put Liam on a quest to polish all the royal crowns at the State Dinner at Pennsic. I decided that Liam needed someone to herald him in and explain to the assembled royalty just what exactly he had done and why exactly he was there. And this wasn’t just an excuse to get myself invited to the State Dinner. No, siree. Totally out of the benevolence of my heart, this was. That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.

Liam St. Liam’s Crown Polishing Quest
By Katherine Ashewode
June 2012

Before you stands an Eastern peer
That you might recognize
For Master William – Liam, please! –
Has many royal ties

He knows Elizabeta well
The Ansteorran queen
And did declare a finer form
He never yet had seen

Her eyes of diamonds, hair of red
Her favors highly sought
And Master Liam did declare
That she was smokin’ hot

He thought upon the Eastern Crown
The Tiger Queen and King
And wondered if a trade could be
To foreign beauty bring

Kenric King was noble, true
And fierce upon the field
But next to Ansteorran grace
His royal fate was sealed

The Eastern Queen heard Liam’s plans
To trade her king, the lord,
“I will not stand for such a thing!”
The Eastern Tigress roared

“You will come to court,” she cried
“To answer for your sins”
But at the Coronation court
Lord Liam was not in

He was not found before the thrones
So many other times
That Avelina Queen declared
He’d answer for his crimes

She took his daughter Leonette
To be a ward of state
But Liam still did not appear
To royal ire abate

And when at last he did appear
To stand before the King
Kenric stood and yelled to know
How could he do this thing?

“You must have been insane,” he said
“Or by a demon bound!”
“Oh, no, Your Maj,” Lord Liam said
“My soul and mind were sound”

“Then this is treason,” said the king
“To trade me from my land
And I will show you what it means
To raise a royal hand

“I like you Liam,” said the King
“That’s why you have your head
But I will set a quest for you
To take back what you said

“It’s clear that you don’t realize
The value of a crown
And so I think you’ll polish them
Sun-up until sun-down

“You’ll polish all the royal crowns
Until within their gleam
Your own contrite and sorry face
Without a smudge is seen”

Liam is a Pelican
And Tiger of the East
And Tigers do not walk alone
As solitary beasts

The other Eastern Tigers came
The noblest and the best
And each took up a cleaning cloth
To aid in Liam’s quest

And so I here present to you
Lord Liam and his friends
Prepared to polish royal crowns
To offer his amends



  1. Kathrynn of Aethelred said,

    August 17, 2012 at 10:24 am

    Oh my… this is beautiful! SCA is an amazing place to grant the opportunity to bring such art to life. Good luck, Lord Liam! You can count another assistant polisher among your ranks.

  2. Dan Marsh said,

    August 17, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    This was truly awesome. 🙂 I enjoyed this a lot, as can be evidenced by this picture:!/photo.php?fbid=4514099338923&set=at.4509670508205.184833.1483886700.100001097670344&type=1&theater

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