The SCA 12-Step Program

Back in 2006, some friends and I were bored at a camping event. This is always a dangerous situation. We started creating a silly little song based on “The Ants Go Marching” and it turned into a full-scale filk. Here it is.

The SCA 12-Step Program
by the IDD Pirates, title credit to Petru cel Voda
to the tune of “The Ants Go Marching”
September 2006

The herald was calling all alone, hurrah, hurrah,
The herald was calling all alone, hurrah, hurrah,
The herald was calling all alone,
And nobody came so he sat on the throne,
So he went a-drinking down, around, the town.

The couples were dancing two by two…
So they got all tangled and couldn’t undo,
So they all went drinking…

The heavies were fighting three by three…
Their helms were so big that they couldn’t see…

The archers were shooting four by four…
It took them two years to talley the score…

The brewers were sampling five by five…
The drink was so strong they couldn’t revivie,
So they couldn’t go drinking down, around, the town.

The Romans were scheming six by six…
And finally exhausted their bag of tricks…

The bards were composing seven by seven…
They couldn’t divine a rhyme for seven…

The fencers were snoring eight by eight…
They lost the war ’cause they slept too late…

The wenches were prowling nine by nine…
And now it’s next year and the babies are fine…

Les français chantaient dix par dix…
Mais ils étaient perdu en chrisse,
Alors is sont allés, en ville, pour boire.*

The peers were consulting eleven by eleven…
Finally found the bards’ rhyme for seven,
So they joined them drinking down, around, the town.

The crowd was yawning twelve by twelve…
They’re looking so bored that this song we’ll shelve,
And we’ll all go drinking down, around, the town.

*Rhyme for French verse:
“The Frenchmen were singing ten by ten…
But they were bloody lost.”

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