YAFGC Limericks

While not technically entries for the Yet Another Fantasy Gamer Comic 2009 bardic competition, I just had too much fun writing these YAFGC-based limericks to keep them from my loyal readers. There may be a second instalment at some point, if there’s enough requests and my muse decides to cooperate. Enjoy!

Yet Another Fantasy Gamer Comic Limericks
by Julie Golick, aka “The Pocket Bard”
April 2009

Dewcup, an elf full of grace
Grew flowers in every which place
But Arachne revealed
The tricks she could wield
And spit venom right into her face
(strip 88)

Lewstrom the Seventh reverses
The patterns of life and of hearses
Don’t ask for his powers
To grow back your flowers
Or he’ll raise both his arms and yell “curses!”
(strip 97, etc.)

There once was a laddie named Glon
Who thought that from elves he was drawn
When faced with derision
He held his decision
But really was half Orcish spawn
(strips 148-152)

Beware of the dread captain Fang
Who sails with a murderous gang
When asked for a header,
He shouted, “It’s leather!”
Declaring it tasted like Tang
(strip 206, etc.)

There was a young Drow with a lamp
Who let loose a genie in camp
The noble enchanter
Three wishes did grant her
Till her hand was completely revamped
(strips 388-389)

It isn’t a challenge to fight
A giant of double your height
Just hold up a dagger
With menacing swagger
And challengers drop dead with fright
(strip 435)

When trying to be a librarian
Be sure that you’re never contrarian
And laugh most politely
When hands grope you tightly
For anything else is barbarian
(strip 448)

Beware of the cloaker named Cuddles
Who frequently joins into huddles
He lurks in the dark
And stalks like a shark
But his cheeriness always befuddles
(strips 474-475)

Eric of Drostadry froze
When thinking he had to propose
His certainty hovered
Until he discovered
The answer was under his nose
(strips 560-561)

Cadugan’s life was the pits
As Lucas declared it was quits
He took Lucas’ face
In a manly embrace
And startled him out of his wits
(strip 799)

When fighting to win the crown royal
Be sure that you ceaselessly toil
But keep a sharp eye
For darts flying by
Because poison will victory despoil
(strip 899)

Chimera was feeling irate
The fighting would never abate
He thought he’d been cursed
Three heads were the worst!
Till he witnessed a hydra with eight
(strips 1005-1006)

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